There’s a reason why one of the show producers, I don’t remember which one, mentioned The Winter Soldier and Grant Ward in the same line. And also hinted at mind control. I’ll tyr to be as coherent as possible and basically retell everythign we discussed in skyeward clubhouse today.
Also I want…
There’s so much we could discuss over Ward here, but this words are powerful and as Vesperass said Ward needs to redeem himself because he finally sees the light.
Thing is we have little Ward who is a blank blackboard, just as every child is, so we have the influence of the environmental he lives. His parents and his siblings, as Ward himself proclaimed in this episode his parents were worse than his siblings. Now, we have a man of 31 years old that was abused, pressured, neglected, unloved, mindless. Ward doesn’t know love, all he knows is pain. And in this case pain = control and control = peace of mind at least in his eyes. The fact that he needs pain to stay focused is sickening (thorn anyone?) self inflicted pain is what you do when you have mental breakdowns, feel unsure of yourself, unloved (sorry I’m repeating myself), or you feel inadequate. Which are feelings Ward certainly has.
So you take the guy that has been trained to be a mortal machine/specialist/unemotional robot and throw him into the Bus.
You know what happens?
He is lost. Because suddenly he has all this people surrounding him, backing him up, smiling and playing, genuinely happy to see him in any time of the day. Who simply care. And Grant doesn’t know what to do with it. So he pushes away, all the time, but Skye the variable they didn’t predict enters with full force in his life, under his skin and she doesn’t give up, like Simmons, Fitz, May and Coulson, Skye is always reaching at him, more than the others, because, well, he is her SO after all. She gives him hope, and believe me hope is like that firefly in the middle of a darkness road that will keep you going and soon you want more, you crave for the light, that’s why his kisses grow more passionate towards her, why he looks so desperate to connect with the lightness she is to him.
Vesperass mentioned how Garrett is a sort of “God” in Ward’s mind, but I think that his resolve is crumbling, bit by bit, and May speech about how some orders aren’t worth enough to follow if you’ll lose someone that is precious to you shakes him, in that moment he decides he doesn’t need anyone else, there just one person he needs to keep save and that’s Skye. Except she doesn’t know that. She’s terrified for herself, for her team and mostly for the man on her side.
She can’t save him, he needs to save himself. As Hannah told Tobias on Repairs - 1x09 ”Only God can forgive you.” But May adds “And he won’t. You can’t undo what’s been done. That will be with you forever. But trying to hold onto this life, clinging to the person you thought you could be - that’s hell.”
Except Ward doesn’t know who he is. What person he is supposed to be. Is he supposed to be Agent Ward or Hydra!Ward? In “The Only Light In The Darkness” we see a darker part of Ward, the one that will kill no matter what he feels, because that is his order. But we also see a Ward that craves for attention, for atonement, and those are trails he needs to figure out by himself.
For the team to forgive him, he must forgive himself first. And then the healing process begins. And as Vesperass and Kat mentioned it will involve PSTD, breakdown, fear, cryings, and when that happen, the team will be there to help him raise from the deeps of his darkness sorrow and show him the way to the light.